I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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