I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
from now on my penis is your penis
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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