I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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