I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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