Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
