I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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