i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
