she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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