Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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