Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
