I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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