you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
