we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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