I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
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dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
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You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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