I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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