Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
