how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
