you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
