The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
