i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he fucked my hip out of place.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
