i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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