I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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