my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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