Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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