like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
