Already got asked if we're dating
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
