If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
