sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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