Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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