He kissed a someone with a penis
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
