There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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