I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize