Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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