I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
