we have officially lost it.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
