____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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