Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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