I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
