Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
