Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
