P.S. I can't hear my feet
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
MIDGETS
????
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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