You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
