if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
