oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
