I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize