Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
