Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just want to make out with him forever
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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