It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I need moral support for this bender
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
