How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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