So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
