make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
