no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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