I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
