The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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