i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i drank out of a bidet.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
