Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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