While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
