wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
