Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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