You made me cry and you don't even care
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
